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Atlases

Winter Wanderland

It is 52 degrees outside.  That means the dead of winter is upon us once again.  It is a dreadful period, and I find myself slipping into a dull state of monotony, looking for an escape from this grisly reality.  Normally, I wouldn’t be in such dire straits, but normally we wouldn’t be experiencing springtime in February, either.  Instead, we’d be basking in the wonder of winter and the sub-freezing temps that go along with it.

I happen to thrive in winter—a proper winter.  I much prefer going out into -5 degrees to the sweltering heat of 95 degrees.  I’ve always said “You can always add more layers to stay warm, but you can only take off so much before you’re arrested.”  (Sadly, I am always the only one listening to this endless wisdom and, frankly, find myself quite boring.)  You can imagine my dismay when faced with the timid, meek attitude displayed by this current winter–the seasonal equivalent of a Corolla driver.  So I find myself plotting an escape from this existence.

I tend to prefer fantasizing the old fashioned way.  None of this new electronic animated and easy scrolling stuff for me, thank you.  I like the old fashioned ink on paper media to escape my reality.  I go to the old standard:  road atlas*.  So, several times during every January and February I will dedicate a portion of the kitchen table, fix a beverage of my choice, grab a pencil, and open up my North American Atlas** to slip into a slow stupor of potential road trips.

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The humble, honorable Honda

Oh, Nellie!!

Today I have the opportunity to work on another old car.  While it isn’t exactly a “classic” like an Alfa GTA or ’55 Chevy (the ‘57s are just too gaudy for me) it is very near and dear to someone’s heart, so I am taking great care with it.  I am cautious when I drive it and try to let the wrenches caress the fasteners, rather than just man-handle them.  In reality, the car isn’t worth much to most of the world, but after spending some time with “Nellie” I have come to a conclusion:  they don’t make ‘em like they used to.

The beautiful thing about Nellie is how she is the last from a bygone era.  She’s not a big German luxury barge, nor is she powered by an American small-block V8.  She’s not even rear wheel drive.  (the horror!)  She’s just a humble baseline 1990 Honda Civic, but a completely capable car.  She’s as basic as they come—a reminder of simpler times before power windows, power door locks, power steering, and power outlets became necessities to get from Point A to Point B.  It makes me wonder what we’re doing wrong as consumers.

Over the years we have become lazy.  We have forgotten how to drive.  We’ve demanded the fastest, quietest, most coddling cocoon to wrap ourselves in.  We need air conditioning.  We can’t live without cup holders.  Our arms ache at the thought of having to exert effort while parallel parking.  The wheels beneath us cannot slip.  Brakes mustn’t lock.  A haunting voice will guide us to our destination (or not).  Wind must be seen but not heard.  And in the event of a collision (who allowed that to happen, anyway?!) we want to be surrounded by pillowy curtains on which to rest our weary heads.  (never mind that those same pillows explode with such force that they will take your head clean off if they hit at the wrong angle)

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UN Flags

Ununited Nations

I enjoy getting together with a good group of motorheads.  I’m not sure if it is the comradery of carburetors that draws us together or the simple fact that most of us are so passionate and opinionated about our transportation choices, that sooner or later blood will be drawn  (like the pending horror of a train wreck that simply must be watched.  Or the pain of Bobby Unser on television).   Whatever the reason for getting together, the conversation always seems to flow without pause (and often without purpose, point, or poignancy, according to many onlookers) as we dive into the history, present day, and future of mechanized transportation.

Try as we might to come to an agreement on what makes a car “great,” the segregation inevitably happens:  as the discussions continue the group breaks into smaller and smaller subcomponents, a sort of reverse-assembly line.  Eventually, everyone finds themselves grouped in with one clique or another.  This is not a choice that can be taken lightly, nor made at that very moment.  Rather, it is the culmination of choices and attitudes that one exhibits over years of development.  Some may even declare it to be genetic.

The Japanese fans quietly keep to themselves, presumably in an attempt to grasp the concept that cars might actually vary in character and personality from, say, a baseboard heater.

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Recent Articles

6
Jan
Spot the oil filler cap.  (hint:  it's orange and says "Engine Oil")

How To: Change Your Oil, Part 2

How to actually change the oil

Keep in mind that this is only a guideline for the actual procedure. This is where you should check a service manual to be sure you’re not screwing anything up. (Honestly, my Land Rover is the only vehicle I’ve had that is very specific about the operations procedure, but you never know) Failure to follow the factory instructions can result in the oil pump losing its prime and, thus, its capacity to pump oil. Remember: oil serves as a much better lubricant than air does. The same principle applies if you forget to purchase all your oil and filter prior to getting started. It is tough to drive to the store with no oil in the engine*so be sure you have ENOUGH OIL and the PROPER FILTER and the PROPER TOOLS before you proceed. Got it? Good!

Step 1: Get the oil flowing

The purpose of changing the oil is to get all the worn out oil and dirt out of the engine and replace it with clean, fresh lubricant. Draining cold oil isn’t recommended, as you will be leaving all kinds of dirt inside the engine. By driving your car a few miles before draining the oil, you’re stirring up all the sediment into suspension so it will flow out of the sump with the old oil. Plus, as an added benefit, hot oil running down your arm will warm your extremities if you are forced to service your car in sub-freezing temps. Read more »

23
Dec

How To: Change Your Oil, Part 1

The question I get asked almost more than any other is:  “How do I change my own oil?”*  This always makes me smile because I am eager to help those who want to get their hands dirty under the hood.  So, I will attempt to help others with similar desires to discover their inner-mechanic with a quick and dirty How-To guide.

When to change your oil

Step one is to determine if it is even necessary to change your engine oil.  Answering a few quick questions should give you a good indication of just how much time you have before your next service is due. Read more »

16
Dec
OliveHarvest

The Three (un)Wise Men, Episode 7

Well, you’ve made it to the final segment of the Israel/Palestine series.  If you haven’t yet spent enough time reading nonsense, you can get the rest of the installments here:  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.  However, if you feel that you have wasted far too much time on this already, please click on the small “X” at the top-right corner of your screen.

We spent one final night in Nazareth and headed to Mark and Andrea’s flat in Zababida, located in the northern part of the West Bank.  In the morning, we met up with our quiet, but friendly taxi driver and drove up the hill one final time to collect Andrea at her flat.

We headed south from Nazareth and into the hill country.  It is a far more deserted drive than what a map would lead you to believe.  I can understand why people may not want to call this area home anymore, as this is also the first moment I saw signs warning of land mines along the road.  As the road wound its way up over the mountain, the driver slowed his pace down a bit as he navigated the ridge.  We started our descent, and about halfway down the hill, he jabbed the brakes and got a panicked look in his eyes.  Then I heard it:  the pop-pop-pop of automatic rifle fire.  I looked out the window to my right and could see several Israeli military vehicles parked in the valley below.  The driver muttered something to Andrea and, with a look of sheepish relief, started driving again. Read more »

9
Dec
Sea Wall of Akka

The Three (un)Wise Men, Episode 6

The journey through Israel/West Bank continues.  Episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 will get you the rest of the story so far.

It was late afternoon by the time we found the car again in the streets of Tiberias (it was right where we’d left it) and decided to head to the coast for dinner.  Our destination would be Akka (Acre).  It had several draws, the biggest being the fact that it was right on the Mediterranean and the second was that it had a high probability of containing at least one restaurant.

We climbed up the switchbacks over the mountains that separated the Sea of Galilee and the coast.  It is only about a 25 mile drive, but it took some time as the progress is slow due mainly to traffic of vacationers clogging up the two-lane roads.  (How dare they ruin my holiday!)

We parked along a boulevard and walked to the coastal wall. The wall that protects Akka from the Mediterranean is, like nearly every structure there, built out of tan stone blocks.  The wall extends around much of the city, with the top of the wall forming a street lined with fish markets and cafes.  (It should be noted that these cafes were not necessarily of the same  caliber that one would find scattered about around Les Halles, in Paris.  Instead, they are more in line with the type of cafe you would expect to see next to a fish market.)  The wall extended down a couple of stories toward the water level, then extended out for another 30 yards to reach the sea.  This floor seemed a bit of an odd extravagance, until I noticed how well it kept the waves from damaging the wall, at least for the 20 minutes I stood there watching them rolling in. Read more »

2
Dec
Mark and Andrea in Nazareth Village (note:  Andrea is on the left)

The Three (un)Wise Men, Episode 5

Yet another chapter in the never-ending saga of an excursion taken to Isreal and the West Bank.  Episodes 1, 2, 3, and even 4 can be accessed, if so desired.

Mark made sure El Jefe and I had all of our belongings packed before we went to bed.  We’d be catching the Paper Taxi by 6AM, and he didn’t want us to be late.  Mark made a call to confirm the reservation, and we were set to go.  All that was left to do now was walk down to the fried chicken place and grab a late snack before heading to bed.  (Warning:  If you want fried chicken in Jerusalem in a timely fashion, do not call in your order ahead of time.  The only thing that assures on-time chicken is if you are a regular customer and a taxi driver.  This was evident as we watched literally dozens of men walk in, order, and receive their meals before ours was prepared.)

Waking up on time for the taxi was not an issue, having an excellent alarm clock in the form of the PA system used for the Islamic call to prayer.  We grabbed our bags, headed out into the still-dark city, and waited by the curb for our ride.  Not having any idea what a Paper Taxi looks like, I assumed that any vehicle coming our way could be it.  The Paper Taxi, is not a car created out of Mache, but simply the van used to courier a newspaper, printed in Jerusalem, up to its distribution point in Nazareth.  While we could have taken a bus or hired a shiroot (whether it be Shen’s or not), the Paper Taxi was certainly the cheapest route.

The driver arrived right on time, pulled up to the curb and opened the rear doors of the van to place our bags inside.  He had a massive space to choose from since his cargo consisted of only one bundle of newspapers placed in the middle of the floor.  I looked at that bundle and questioned the worth of driving a van 100 miles through the desert to deliver one bundle of papers; however, I kept that judgment to myself. Read more »

25
Nov
Rooftops of Hebron

The Three (un)Wise Men, Episode 4

Part 4 in the series recounting my trip to Israel & the West Bank in October 2005.  You can catch up to speed by checking out Episodes 1, 2, and 3.  It’s okay…we’ll wait for you.

After nearly half a night of much-needed sleep, I was awakened around 4:30 am by the Fajr call to prayer.  The PA systems employed by every mosque I’ve been to around the world all seem to have one thing in common:  all-out volume is far more important than what a full, even frequency response is.  As a result, the calls to prayer always seem to greet the listener with a piercing sound of a nasally AM transistor radio set at a volume best described as WAY TOO LOUD.  While not exactly soothing, it does practically guarantee that everyone will be awake for the prayer within the first five seconds of the broadcast, and—since there is no Snooze button—everyone will stay awake.  After only a short eternity, the PA system lining the streets clicked off, and I was allowed to fall back to sleep within milliseconds.  Thankfully, just over an hour later the PA clicked loudly again, and I knew what was coming:  the Sunrise Prayer.

Mark, Jefe, and I congregated in the kitchen of the flat and had bit of breakfast:  coffee, bread, and the most wonderful breakfast drink I have ever experienced:  lime juice.  We had to get some food into our bodies because we had yet another “big day ahead.”  We would be heading to Bethlehem.

We walked down to the bus terminal just outside Damascus Gate of the Old City and caught a ride to the border checkpoint south of Jerusalem.  Walking into the concrete block building, we got in line with our paperwork in hand.  Judging by the number of M-16 rifles shouldered to the guards, we decided against pushing our way to the front and instead waited patiently in line to increase our chances of crossing the border successfully and with the least mortality. Read more »

18
Nov
El Jefe presiding over two domes

The Three (un)Wise Men, Episode 3

The third chapter in the ongoing (and ongoing) tales of my trip to Israel and Palestine.  Be sure to check out Episodes 1 and 2, in case you are a glutton for punishment.

We headed out through the gate of the Augusta Victoria hospital and onto Martin Buber Street; I was awestruck by what was upon me.  I could look down across the valley and see—just a few thousand yards away—the Dome of the Rock.  I checked my handy pocket map and, to my amazement, it showed that we were standing on the summit of the Mount of Olives.  The Old City was standing firm, as it had for the last couple years or so, its ancient fortress wall protecting it from any intruders.  Any intruders but us, I hoped.

We walked the steep hill into the Kidron Valley and stopped at the Garden of Gethsemane for a little break.  (Walking downhill is hard.)  I looked around the property and was impressed at the relatively small footprint that the garden had, yet it was certainly a peaceful place. with birds chirping and the breeze whistling through the cedars.  Orange and purple flowers littered the landscape and conifers shaded and cooled the rocky soil.  (Anyone with any sense of beauty would have immediately known the floral varieties on display.  I know them simply as “flowers.”)  There were several olive trees in a grove in one section of the garden.  They were twisted and knurled, almost square in their dimensions.  The trunks were fat and thick; their limbs were tightly woven into themselves, like a tugboat’s hopelessly knotted mooring line.  The leaves were delicate, a light drab green that was the definition of “olive.”  Mark called the attendant over and asked (in his broken Arabic) how old they were.  The man thought for a bit and replied, “Maybe three thousand?”  Suddenly, I felt a bit less significant to the world.  These very trees were older than Jesus. Read more »

11
Nov
Photo by Andrea Stoner-Leaman

The Three (un)Wise Men, Episode 2

The three of us were crammed into the van with five other passengers as we left Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv and headed out into the flat lands of Israel.   The scene was strangely like traveling through California’s Central Valley with the 4-lane concrete motorway straight and smooth.  On either side of the highway were vast fields of produce; cucumbers, melons, and tomatoes extending all the way to the foothills in the distance.  The soil was naturally arid, irrigation bringing abundant life;  without it,  the floor of the plain would revert to the brown barrenness that it had been for centuries prior.  In another 45 minutes we would reach Jerusalem, but first we would have to climb some 700 meters in elevation.

As we ascended into the hillsides, the cooler climate of the higher elevation allowed conifers to grow with surprising success, considering the lack of rainfall; a few at first, followed by stands, then small forests.  Weaving through the trees, we turned off at an interchange and headed around a traffic circle.  Suddenly, we were transported into tan-colored, endless suburbs.

Our driver seemed to know where he was going: a right, followed by two lefts.  Two more rights and another half-dozen or so lefts and we reached the first stop:  a nondescript concrete block of flats.  The driver confirmed with Passenger #1 that this was The Place without ever needing to extinguish his cigarette.  He finally ended his phone conversation in time to help pull Passenger #1’s luggage out of the back doors.  Back in the driver’s seat, he slotted the Sprinter into first gear, checked his mirrors, took a drag on his smoke, and dialed his fourth call as we pulled into the street.

Read more »

4
Nov
The market at Damascus Gate

The Three (un)Wise Men, Episode 1

It was all becoming a bit overwhelming.  I was on my way to spend two weeks exploring Israel and Palestine, with the help of another high-school friend, Mark.  Mark and his wife Andrea were teaching English in a Palestinian high school for a couple of years and were apparently suffering from some sort of  food-borne illness that made them lose all reasoning processes of the brain.  Why else would they invite me to come over and stay with them?

The logistics were on the sketchy side, as well.  Our mutual high-school buddy Jeff would be flying up from Honduras (where he had been living for a year or so)through Dallas-Ft. Worth to Newark, NJ.  I would be taking the train from Pennsylvania to Newark International Airport and meet up with him with an easy 3 hours to spare before our flight left for Tel Aviv.  We would catch a taxi in Tel Aviv to take us up to Jerusalem.  No problems that I could foresee. Read more »

28
Oct
AP Wire photo

SuperSic Sunday

It was supposed to be different than this.  The day offered so much promise.

The weekend started out right.  On Saturday I was (arguably) the Best Man at my best friend’s wonderful wedding.  The ceremony was short, meaningful, and emotional.  The reception was simplistic, yet grand.  I saw friends that I hadn’t seen for quite some time.  It was a time filled with great celebration.

Sunday was a day that I look forward to every year:  a singles ride to the Mid-Atlantic Vintage Trials meet held at the Grenogue estate in northern Delaware.  We start out on a crisp autumn morning, our faceshields clouding  with every breath, and ride from the Amish country of Lancaster, winding through the narrow single-lane roads of Chester County horse country.  We choose the big thumpers for this ride because their small size is perfect for the narrow roads and lanes we travel.  That and they make nice noises as they boom off the tall hedges and stone bridges.  It is a day I anticipate for weeks prior, and it finally arrived. Read more »